Valentine's Day Blues

So, it's Valentine's Day. The day that society insists is for shoving the idea of romantic relationship down everyone's throats, no matter their feelings on the subject. I have a lot of feelings about this day and what it represents in our society. I was tempted to make a post about the subject last year, but I was too tired from all the work I was doing creating the first versions of the website.

Before I go any further, I'm just gonna say that I have no problem with any individual person who celebrates this holiday, so long as they don't pressure anyone else to celebrate (or give them shit about celebrating it "wrong"). But I do have a problem with how society handles this, and I feel no shame for giving my own criticism on the subject.

With that out of the way, I'll continue.

As a kid, I used to feel this nervous little excitement about it. Not necessarily about the gift giving part (though I did fantasize about receiving gifts from cute girls), but about the idea of a special day to spend with a crush or significant other. Ever since I was little, I've had this little obsession with the idea of romance, crushes, kisses... things like that. I had so many sapphic fantasies even back then. This obsession confused and embarrassed little me, so I kept this a secret.

However, as I got older, I became bitter whenever this holiday reared it's pink head for a few reasons.

Firstly, I became disillusioned with consumerism, and eventually capitalism as a whole. I hate the commercialization of all the holidays, but I find the commercialization of the concept of love itself to be extra absurd. It's crazy how corporations were able to convince millions of people that a ritual where spending exorbitant amounts of money for a shiny rock and a glorified, overblown party is required for people to spend their lives together. And that to this day people are still falling for it as society continues to shovel out propaganda that this is the way things should be done.

Secondly, it's one of the many ways society enforces amatanormativity: A term coined by Elizabeth Brake about the concept that all human beings need a monogamous romantic relationship and eventually marriage to be happy. In this way, Valentine's Day feels like a judgement. You're either in a romantic relationship, or you're not whole. You're either seeking a romantic relationship, or you're broken. This is truly damaging, and undervalues loving relationships that aren't romantic or sexual.

There's plenty of reasons someone might not want to date. They might be happy single, they might not want to date for personal reasons (including trauma), or they might just be asexual and/or aromantic. This doesn't make them in any way lesser, and I hope society understands this someday.

Lastly, and this is petty compared to the above reasons... I'm also just lonely. It's not even that I want a romantic relationship specifically (though that would be nice), but the lack of physical intimacy truly pains me and I wish it didn't. It feels like Valentine's Day exists to rub this loneliness in my face.

“Look at these happy couples. Don't you wish you were this close to someone?” Blegh.

Maybe someday I'll have one of those special Valentine's Days with all the cuddles and kisses I could ever want, but unfortunately, this isn't going to be one of those days.

Oh well.

Anyway, despite all my whining about the subject, I hope everyone else has a happy Valentine's Day, whatever that may look like for you.

P.S. Here's a silly GIF for you.